For many, romantic relationships provide a foundation for life: having a partner to share in life's ups and downs can be rewarding. However, dating, relationships, and breakups can feel hopeless, anxiety-provoking, frustrating, and heartbreaking.
Dating and trying to find a partner, whether serious or casual, can be difficult to navigate. Facing the prospect of finding someone, especially in a world with so much access via online dating, can be overwhelming. Furthermore, because of how easy it is to be “matched with” someone on a dating app, people begin to feel as though the connections are shallow and that they are disposable, facing constant rejection, which hurts self-esteem. Some people report feeling so anxious about dating and relationships that they avoid it altogether, or find that they are presenting a version of themselves that does not feel authentic, as they are so focused on getting the other person to like them. These are some of the common ways that difficulties surrounding dating can show up:
Excessive worry, constantly worrying about potential outcomes, future scenarios, or how the other person perceives you
Overthinking interactions, analyzing every detail of an encounter, including messages, conversations, and gestures
Self-doubt related to one’s desirability, personality, behaviors, or worthiness
Avoidance behavior, staying away from dating altogether to mitigate anxiety
Comparison with others
Co-dependency, or relationships that feel unhealthy, addicting, or “toxic”
Fear of rejection and judgment
Perfectionism, setting unrealistically high standards for yourself in dating, fearing rejection if you do not “measure up”
Difficulty with vulnerability
Therapy for dating and relationships can include:
Self-exploration, a safe environment to better understand and explore your values, needs, and desire in a relationship
Identifying relationship patterns and dynamics, why they are occurring, and how to achieve different outcomes
Empowering you to feel more confident and secure in who you are and what you want
Navigating rejection, building resilience, and maintaining a positive outlook
Setting and maintaining boundaries
Understanding your attachment style, its origin, and how it impacts you in relationships
Processing and healing from past relationships
Overcoming anxiety
Therapy for relationships can help identify patterns that occur in your romantic relationship, including dynamics related to attachment, power, conflict, and intimacy. You can also explore your role in relationships, where this role was learned, and assess whether your needs are being met. Oftentimes, how you operate in relationships has its origins in your upbringing and childhood; understanding family dynamics helps you understand how you came to relate to others. If you worry about whether you are in the right relationship, therapy can provide a safe space to explore that question.
Going through a breakup, separation, or divorce can be one of the most painful events a person can experience, as it can feel like having to mourn someone who is still alive. The grief that someone can experience in going through a breakup can look and feel like depression. In many cases, people need support processing and mourning the relationship ending, including unpacking what happened, its emotional impact, and how to move forward.
Learn more about attachment styles here.
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